20 Jan

To my friends and loved ones………..
01/18/12 7:34PM
I know you’re all probably wondering if I came home to a TV signal tonight after my 48 minute drive home (snow – roads – morons – you get the picture).
Well – brace yourself because I DON’T HAVE TV!!! My screen says “TOTAL SIGNAL LOSS – check for obstructions such as tree branches or SNOW – if it’s safe, clear the obstruction then unplug your receiver for 10 seconds to reset”. So I unplugged it, counted to ten and when I turned it back on it said “Acquiring Signal – this should not take more than 5 minutes to complete” it has said this for over 30 minutes now – umm… Hello? Isn’t there a timer built in on their end to change the message on the screen to “Well shit – it’s taking a lot longer than 5 minutes – this probably means you have no chance in hell of getting a signal until April – however we will still be charging you for the privilege of not having service because our boat payments still need to be made.”

1) We don’t have that much snow – certainly not enough to warrant a TOTAL SIGNAL LOSS
2) No way in hell am I climbing up on the roof to “clear” the obstruction – whoever wrote that suggestion clearly smoked too much dope in satellite dish college
3) They BETTER figure out a better way to fix this issue or my business is going to Satan’s gatekeepers (Comcast) who run their cables UNDER the ground

4) Dish Network is LUCKY that I always keep at least 100+ hours of DVR programs on reserve to get me through a possible TV famine. I counted and I have 140 saved shows/episodes. My only regret is that I still have 26 hours of blank space leftover that I could’ve filled with more emergency shows if only I had known what a piece of shit their stupid dish is.

So – yes, there is more than enough reason to worry – you people of faith might want to pray for me to be saved from this unholy nightmare – however I will do my best to persevere and make it through this difficult time. I will keep everyone posted on my signal status. Thank you for your understanding and sympathy.


Kim Sue


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